after thinking for so long, after restricted myself from doin anything, i decided to forget bout the negative thoughts, do 1 last thing before i totally give up in this. when i said i give up, i don't mean tat i dun wan it anymore, but just stop tryin and stop doin wad i think i shud do. anyway..this's not the main point, wad i wan to say is after i did tat, there's sudden feeling of loneliness and emptiness in me. this is the 1st time of feelin tat way after a month i'm away from my country. mebe all these while i'm trying to get myself occupied with uni stuff, case study, preparation sheet and tutorial so i would haf no time to think bout wad i'm actually experiencing. i put on a brave face, telling everyone tat i'm fine, i'm enjoying the life over here.. everything is great n so on. but slowly, i just realise tat i dun haf much ppl tat i can talk to. i stop myself from telling the sad thing but good thing to prevent others from worrying for me. and when i go online, i dun see those ppl who i used to chat a lot wif and talk to. and once again, everything is kept in myself.

one of my fren told me before that i can always contact him n talk to him whenever i feel sad or facing a problem. i was really grateful bout this n i truly believe that i wont be alone cos there will be someone out there willing to share my thoughts but just not long after tat i realise tat it wasnt true at all. all i get is ignorance after the "complain" :)

anyway.. this is onli just a sudden affect. yea...learn tat this morning when we learn bout how to deal with mental illness problem. affect is just wad u feel at tat moment. which can be happy for tat 1 min and sad for the following min..n yea..i'm totally fine right now!

well, this week is kinda bz actually. started my attachment with healthcare of eldery. so the main thing we learn will be nervous system, neurological exam, mental state exam...it's much more than wad we learn in imu n ppl here...learn the anatomy of the brain til soooo detail. stressz...>< so whenever i'm free, i'll be in princess margaret hospital and talk with the old folks or i shud say shout.hee!

friday tmr..weekend coming...cny coming but there's not cny atmosphere here at all. wad's chinese new year? i dunno...but yea...just lookin for another rest during weekends :P