sometimes u'll just gotta feeling that everything is goin against you. ever since weeks ago, everything just never seems to good for me. bad news come one after one. just as i ready to let go one and accept it...another one comes. i need to start the whole process again...denial, anger, bargain, depression and at last acceptance.
suddenly have the feeling tat i'm back to alone again. loss of a close one isnt tat nice. sometimes u just have no idea tat wad's the right thing to do and what's not. this's a thing tat i've experienced before. but still....i cant handle it well. i start avoiding, keeping a distance just to prevent myself getting hurt. i know this wont last for long...sooner or later, i'll back to me again. and all i need is TIME! sorry...
imagine, there's someone used to be close wif ya, spending most of the time together, and no matter wad happened to you, that person will be the 1st one appear in ur mind. but this will never happen again, awkwardness felt when talking to each other, thoughts appear before asking a question as u worry u touched something tat the person might not feel like sharing. lies all around the frenship. u've given chances even u know they lied, u explained to urself for them, keepin everything to self cos u know when u ask more...the degree of awkwardness will increase.u resist ur care for ppl cos u dunno how they think bout it. u've done everything u could n it doesnt seems to be enuff. u disappointed, u get hurt, u tried to give up but u know u shudnt so u keep all these in the deepest part of ur mind and start everything over and over again...n it becomes a vicious cycle...never ending cycle!
fren: tell u sth...*#@*#@#!@#@#%*^$
me: (thinking it's a good news) congrats!
fren: dun congrats me la...
me: ah? then how am i suppose to react?
fren: oh...ok thanks!?
me:.....speechless!! really dunno wad u think la...i'm great tat u tell me tat...but i really dunno how u feel bout it and how am i suppose to react!? fooled... :P
but look around..u r not alone. u'll never be alone. things r better than wad u thought. everything happens for a reason. and i know i'm not alone...WHY? cos...