Turning into a new leaf

I watched a sort of stupid and kiddy movie just now. I’m not sure is the movie really tat funny or I just need some laughter to get rid of what had happened to me these few days. Anyway, i was laughing like crazy while watching the movie. Once again it’s the friendship thing. I always fell into this trouble and most probably and hopefully this will be the last time I’ll be writing about all these here.

Ignorance is bliss…this phase is always true no matter where and how you put it. I agree with the sentence is not that I’m going to ignore every single thing happen around me but to ignore the feeling inside me that I can never show it to the rest. Most of the time, I’m sort of planning for my days. Expecting what’s going to happen if I do this or that and sometimes I expect others to know what’s in my mind which is totally wrong cause no1 will know what you one if u never say it out. Anyway, with the high expectation, if things just don’t go my way, that’s when all the frustration, anger come out. One more thing is if you are expecting something but never go and work on it, it will never happen. Thinking of getting fruits is not enough, u need to go and grow the tree before u can get it. This is the time I need to ignore my feeling and think positively

A friend of mine always asked me to think positively but not to think of all the negative stuff, but how am I suppose to think positive when I keep on getting the negative feedback? For example, calling friends out for dinner or wadever occasion. Will u keep on asking after getting rejected for lots and lots of times? N well, some ppl just expect others to call no matter what. If not, once again there’s anger and blaming taking place but friend, really it’s not tat I don’t want to call ya…u have always been so busy with other stuff, and there’s responsibility on you so I just think that I shoudnt bother you with all these again.but for me as a fren, i still continue what i shud do. Am I wrong? Same goes to the sharing thingy..how u expect ppl to know u whether u wan sth or not if u never tell and moreover you always have someone to share with you. And think bout this, if u expect your friend or others to treat u in a way, maybe you should think back whether u treat them in the same way?

Since long ago, I has been dreaming for true friends who I can talk anything with and experience all the bad and good together. But after all the searches and failures, I realise that this can only be happened in the “dream” the one u have when u r sleeping. me, who has failed in friendship a lot of times and insecure in friendship has been expecting lots from my friends. Same theory as above, when your expectation is high and cant be achieved, then you will get hurt. Now I have finally realise about this that the way I’m thinking doesn’t fit the whole idea bout friendship in this world and it’s time for me to wake up from my sweet dream and face the reality and adjust myself to this new world of mine that I’m trying to explore. Of course time is needed for this.

Sorry ppl if I’m wanting too much before this and make u ppl feel irritated and so

As for you friend, there are so many things happen, misunderstanding. Miscommunication, conflicts. I dunno why these are happening and no idea why this only happens in both of us. Whatever it is…just let u know, whatever happen now is not because of wad recently happened but it’s the accumulation of all the things that had happened previously. And I probably have done lots of thing that hurt you or make u sad. I’m really sorry bout that. I’m just care bout u and maybe I express it in the wrong way. Sometimes I wanted to talk to u…u ignored my msgs. I have no idea how can u just care not bout me when I din go and talk wif u n things like that. Anyway…all these are over and I’m no longer the me that expecting things from others..i hope I can keep to it n probably things will turn better. One last thing, I’ll never give up any friendship..and never ever mentioned it to me again. Hope u thinking the same and I hope that these things happened just because I’m not doing what u wan me to do. God gives us the power to make choices and we should use the wisdom from God to make the good decisions and make things go better. I believe that God doesn’t want us to sit aside and care not bout what’s happening right now.

That’s all I’m going to talk about these and I’m not goin to tok anything more bout this issue but of cos if sth good happen bout this…I’ll tell u guys. For u ppl who dunno wad I’m crapping about just read it as a story..keke! =)